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Please Tell me your opion!
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| Wtf |
Posted on 18-07-2008 04:42
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Veteran Member
Posts: 553
Joined: 05/10/2007 12:40
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OK, I live in a three bedroom trailer/mobile home. I live with my fiancee, her mom, her brother, her sister and her son, my son, and a Family friend. That is eight people living in a three bedroom, 1000 square foot, house. My fiancee and her mom are the only two with jobs. They get up at 530 in the morning to get ready for work. They leave home at 7 o'clock. Neither of them return home until around 5 to 6 o'clock at night. I sleep during the day between the hours of 7 and 5 o'clock. Please note that I do not sleep from them times I go to bed between them times and get up. I take care of my son at night so that my fiancee can sleep and get ready for work, with-out having to worry about our son. Now if you notice I am going to sleep as she is leaving for work making it so that our son has no one to watch him. I have been called a bad parent because I am paying someone 25 dollars a week to watch my son while I sleep between the hours of 7 and 5 o'clock. The person I am paying is my fiancee's sister. Now this has only been going on for 3 days and I have not been sleeping much them three days. My schedule for the last three days has been this. Tuesday I went to sleep at 7 and woke up at 11. I went and took care of my son between the hours of 11 and 4. At 4 o'clock i came back into the bedroom and took a nap until 530. At 530 My fiancee got home and we took care of our son. Wednesday I had to take my fiancee's sister's son to a doctors appointment. This appointment was at 430. So at 8 o'clock I went to sleep and woke up at 12. Me and our family friend sat in my room playing PlayStation 2 until 3. At that time we got ready to go to the appointment. After the appointment I came home and stayed up the rest of they day. Thursday comes around and my fiancee's sister's son has two early morning appointments. These appointments were at 930 and 1030. I did not go to sleep that morning and had taken them to the appointments. We had got home around 1130 at which time me and the family friend come in my room to play some more PlayStation 2. I am to tiered to stay awake and fall asleep on my bed. I however have an upset stomach from the food from last night and barley sleep cause i am getting up to go to the bathroom, but i was sleeping basically from 1230 to 5. Today I am not gonna go to sleep until my fiancee gets home from work and get up when she goes to bed. She normally goes to bed around 9 o'clock. That will be about 3 hours asleep. According to the person who has called me a bad parent i should do that no matter what.
Please post what you think about this. I really care about your response because if I am truly being a bad Father then i would like to know.
If this is to be deleted may I be contacted and told why please!
Candy is Dandy but Liquor is Quicker
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| ohyesidid |
Posted on 18-07-2008 08:50
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Fusioneer
Posts: 1515
Joined: 12/02/2008 21:37
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Hey WTF, first let me say I am a father of a 51/2mo old. I think each situation is different for each family. Originally when my wife was off on mat leave she would get up in the night for the diaper changes and the night feeds and get up through the day to look after our daughter, I would look after night feeds on Friday nights and Saturday nights and would look after our daughter on the weekends (I also took over on stat holidays). Now my wife has gone back to work and I am on Pat leave so the rolls have reversed. I get up with my daughter for night feeds and changes and look after her through the day and my wife takes over in the evening when she gets home and on the weekends. I only play my games when my daughter is sleeping or if my wife is looking after her. Now let me tell you my wife and I are not lucky enough to have any family support to help us like you do. I do not think you are a bad parent for utilizing family support in the manner you do and I think your friend is just a little tunnel visioned by what they think parenting should be. Do you need to stay up the hole night? Well probably in the current living arrangement how are you expected to let the employed sleep if you arnt able to respond to your child ASAP. We use a baby monitor, but we also live in a 2400sqft home just the 3 of us so it is easier for us. I would not be bothered by your friends comments, stand up for your self and let them know each situation is different.
PS: I am curious, I am almost positive your friend either does not have children or they have considerably different living situation that makes it easier for them. Please let me know if I am right as I find the people who are the most judgmental are either out of touch or have no experience!
Where's BOB??????
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| Steal Your Face |
Posted on 18-07-2008 09:10
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Admin
Posts: 1998
Joined: 07/03/2008 16:27
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yea man, you have to do whats right for you and your family, you friend can go to hell, put him in your situation and see what he/she does. Your trying to make it work with what you have! Kudos....at least your actually trying! |
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| The Deer Hunter |
Posted on 18-07-2008 12:34
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Veteran Member
Posts: 626
Joined: 22/11/2007 01:39
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hey wtf, don't worry about what your friend says, if it is working out between you and your fiance that is all that matters. and if there is a problem between you and your fiance try to work out a schedule with her so that you can get a good amount of sleep everynight. And its ok if you sleep the same time as her, you can wake up to get the baby at anytime. My parents did it like that while my mom was on mat leave. Once she went back to work they started taking turns. You aren't a bad father by any means, my grandmother took care of me and my sitsers while my parents were at work up until my littlest sister was in highschool. As long as the family member can be trusted, you aren't a bad father for getting a little help here and there. Also remember this is your first kid too, so you are going to learn a lot from the expirience.
keep it cool man, it will all work out.
when there's nothing left to burn .... you must set yourself on fire.
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| Wtf |
Posted on 18-07-2008 15:23
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Veteran Member
Posts: 553
Joined: 05/10/2007 12:40
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Thank you guys. The person telling me I'm a bad parent is poet my fiancee's brother. The family friend is blackreaper / block_lord. Poet is the one that is giving the problems, He has a daughter he dose not get to see for his own reasons, and I feel that I shall not share his personal business. Anyway in his eyes i should stay up all night and day. He thinks this is humanly possible. I have no problem staying awake to take care of my son at night. This just really bother me and I wanted to know if what I was doing was wrong.
Candy is Dandy but Liquor is Quicker
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| Steal Your Face |
Posted on 18-07-2008 15:42
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Admin
Posts: 1998
Joined: 07/03/2008 16:27
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Dont let him take whatever issues he is having out on your situation. Your not him, and he isnt you....let him think what he wants to think.... |
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| SeVeN |
Posted on 18-07-2008 18:59
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Senior Member
Posts: 285
Joined: 05/10/2007 09:05
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OK... everyone is maybe being too nice in this...? WTF ... exactly WTF !!! Dude if you are paying someone then pay them..but while they are watching your child you need to be your ass in school or work...probably school it will pay off in long run go for electronics its hard at first but pays most and you get the best jobs.You have to do something for your future you have to get out of that living situation you have to provide for your family that is the role of the man of the house you make the money or most of the money...and she should be taking care of the child it has always been that way from the begining.Just think about what you want and then how your going to get it..and always remember you dont want to be going through this shit the rest of your life...you must move yourself and your family forward.
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| Wheels |
Posted on 18-07-2008 19:34
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Senior Member
Posts: 370
Joined: 01/12/2007 03:44
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Thats why you shouldn't have kids. Cuts into your fun time.
I am mother fuckin' Freddy |
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| Wtf |
Posted on 18-07-2008 22:58
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Veteran Member
Posts: 553
Joined: 05/10/2007 12:40
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Lol i have a job i start The first.
Candy is Dandy but Liquor is Quicker
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| ozone |
Posted on 19-07-2008 00:47
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Veteran Member
Posts: 614
Joined: 10/10/2007 06:28
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Taking care of a youngin is hard, especially when you are young. Had my son at 19, worked off shifts, so did the wife. Got shit for sleep, it was a fuked up time but we got through it. You will too, puts hair on your chest 
ozone
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| Scooby |
Posted on 19-07-2008 03:14
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Admin
Posts: 1636
Joined: 06/10/2007 14:37
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Gents......
Any relationship is about give and take. Having children changes things in any relationship. My first child came just shortly after my 20th bday. Although I'm not your atypical male in that I love... truely love kids.... have 4 and wouldn't mind havin more, true all relationships are different.
What I can tell you is that while you are being awsome to your fiance by taking care of your child, you need to set your sleep with your childs sleep time. This is done by when he sleeps you sleep. This is one HUGE way you can remedy your sleep issue. Gaming may have to take a smaller piece of pie for a bit till things settle this way. Ultimately, this will benefit you in the long run.
I was a Mr Mom for the first year of my youngest sons life. This was the only way I could function, was to coordinate my sleep with my kids. When he slept, I slept. My wife got her sleep in as did I and made live a whole ton better. Give it a try and then adjust your life circumstances accordingly.
I understand how hard it is to get started. I know how freekin expensive it is for child care. It is today, cost prohibitive for you to pay for atypical child care for a child that age as it is an astronomical expense. You'd work full time just to pay for that. So start with the sleep stuff... then shoot me a message... we'll go from there.
Best of Luck
Scooby |
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| ozone |
Posted on 19-07-2008 09:12
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Veteran Member
Posts: 614
Joined: 10/10/2007 06:28
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Dang Scoob, 4 kids, you are working on Paul Revere status. People remember him for his "Midnight Ride" warning of the British attack, I get stuck on the fact he had 16 children between 2 wives. Now that's some major bedroom time. 
ozone
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| Slamdancecosmopolis |
Posted on 19-07-2008 09:24
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Member
Posts: 128
Joined: 04/10/2007 21:22
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i agree with scooby on this one. One thing i learned while on tour was that if you **** up with your sleep sched it will affect your health both mental and physical. That stomach issue you had could also be due to lack of sleep. As sleep works with the digestive track. Hence taking a morning shit....anywho. Your doing a fine job i'm sure. Because unlike some people you don;t 1)beat the little nipper 2)you are actually there 3) make up another one.
you'll be fine kiddo
Loyal to the Clause
HM's greatest Bulldog
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| JeSuS |
Posted on 20-07-2008 17:41
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Junior Member
Posts: 44
Joined: 19/05/2008 21:17
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I have 2 daughters, I need a son, I started late at 21 . It was hard the first year because I was stationed in Liberia but I have to say they are the best things to ever happen to me.
I used to have Mad Cow's disease, but I'm alright Nooooooooow.
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| Scooby |
Posted on 21-07-2008 01:22
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Admin
Posts: 1636
Joined: 06/10/2007 14:37
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Here here Jesus...... USMC Medically Retired...... HOOOO YA ....
Scooby |
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| JeSuS |
Posted on 22-07-2008 11:26
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Junior Member
Posts: 44
Joined: 19/05/2008 21:17
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I was in the Irish Army Rangers, but we trained at you special warfare school in the US, so I know a good many Marines.
I used to have Mad Cow's disease, but I'm alright Nooooooooow.
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| SeVeN |
Posted on 23-07-2008 19:22
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Senior Member
Posts: 285
Joined: 05/10/2007 09:05
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jesus..your irish ?? im half irish... i guess last name Burke.
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| JeSuS |
Posted on 23-07-2008 23:21
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Junior Member
Posts: 44
Joined: 19/05/2008 21:17
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Yes I am Irish, it says that under my location lol 
I used to have Mad Cow's disease, but I'm alright Nooooooooow.
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| Scooby |
Posted on 24-07-2008 08:01
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Admin
Posts: 1636
Joined: 06/10/2007 14:37
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Well.... when I come over to Ireland we'll have to get together..... if I ever get to come over there... been tryin for as long as I can remember...lol I had a customer I used to deal with, was a golf course architect... he built a course right next to a castle over there... next to the ocean... the most spectacular photo I think I've ever seen!
Scooby |
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| karmine |
Posted on 03-08-2008 02:02
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Junior Member
Posts: 12
Joined: 03/08/2008 00:31
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heres my opinion:
your family is fed and cared for. whatever anyone else thinks doesnt matter. the reason behind this is family is all that matters in this world because they are all you have til death. people can say "but you can have friends that mean something!!", but ill tell you that if you have friends that are the same they are family as well. i have all but one good friend from high school, and i proudly call him brother. he is family. |
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