I'm not sure how many of you know this, but Tex went on vacation and despite telling other people, he told me nothing and therefore I'm 100% certain he is now dead.
Tex was born in 1972 in a barn in the Netherlands or some other weird place with funny accents. He came from working-class parents, his father having been a rickshaw driver for a local wealthy dwarf, and his mother having been a professional scarecrow for most of her life. Tex was raised Catholic, but later found comfort in the church of Scientology where, as a young teen, he pledged himself to Tom Cruise as a perpetual sex slave in pursuit of a higher purpose in life. It was through this work that Tex would discover his love of money shots....I mean.....head shots....leading to his deep passion for CS:S Gungame.
Tex has 13 children, none of which he has met, and one of which who may or may not be a full blown hermaphrodite - a hereditary trait we are told. Tex wanted to be remembered by his severe lack of skill at Gungame, and his shrill scream of defeat each time he gets knifed.
We will be holding a celebration of life tomorrow July 13th, 2024 at mid day on the Funtimes server. Please join, play, and be silent or just say whatever you want like any normal day on the server. I think that's what Tex would want.
Lastly, it appears that Tex was a dildo hoarder and the local authorities are having trouble cleaning out his home. If anyone can assist in removing and disposing of dildos, they would appreciate it.
I know this is a difficult time for us all. I felt compelled to make another post because we all need to know the truth. After many, many hours of research and fact checking, I have determined that the man we all knew as Tex was, in fact, Richard Simmons. Of course, this will better explain Tex's disappearance and bring some closure for everyone. May he rest in peace....ful exercise
Amen, I agree with DKC. Tex was one of the nicest person on this server I had even considered him for
Nobel Peace Prize.
In Tex's will that he left behind, he has gracious donated all the dildos, his 13 kids, his dads rickshaw to DKC as a show of true friendship. He has also donated to Pfizer so that DKC never runs out of Viagara for rest of his life.
I'm not sure how many of you know this, but Tex went on vacation and despite telling other people, he told me nothing and therefore I'm 100% certain he is now dead.
Tex was born in 1972 in a barn in the Netherlands or some other weird place with funny accents. He came from working-class parents, his father having been a rickshaw driver for a local wealthy dwarf, and his mother having been a professional scarecrow for most of her life. Tex was raised Catholic, but later found comfort in the church of Scientology where, as a young teen, he pledged himself to Tom Cruise as a perpetual sex slave in pursuit of a higher purpose in life. It was through this work that Tex would discover his love of money shots....I mean.....head shots....leading to his deep passion for CS:S Gungame.
Tex has 13 children, none of which he has met, and one of which who may or may not be a full blown hermaphrodite - a hereditary trait we are told. Tex wanted to be remembered by his severe lack of skill at Gungame, and his shrill scream of defeat each time he gets knifed.
We will be holding a celebration of life tomorrow July 13th, 2024 at mid day on the Funtimes server. Please join, play, and be silent or just say whatever you want like any normal day on the server. I think that's what Tex would want.
Lastly, it appears that Tex was a dildo hoarder and the local authorities are having trouble cleaning out his home. If anyone can assist in removing and disposing of dildos, they would appreciate it.
My sources tell me Tex was on time off due to his mistress. I found his true story. The following is what I have gathered from numerous resources.
Tex was born in the wilderness, where the moon hung heavy in the ink-black sky, a tale of an ancient vampire unfolded. This creature, known as Tex of the Night, had roamed the earth for centuries, his existence woven into the fabric of countless legends and fears whispered around campfires. His story was one of darkness and light, of a relentless thirst battling an undying love for the human race he once belonged to.
Tex was not your ordinary vampire; he was a nobleman of the old world, turned into a creature of the night not by bite, but by a cursed artifact. His eyes, once a vibrant blue, were now the color of the midnight sky, and his presence was as commanding as the howling winds of the plains. He had seen empires rise and fall, had walked through wars and peacetime, all the while searching for a redemption that seemed as elusive as the morning mist.
His lair was hidden deep within the Big Thicket, an impenetrable forest where the trees whispered secrets of the ages. It was said that Tex had chosen this place for its ancient power, a land where the veil between worlds was thin, and where he could commune with the spirits of the land. The locals avoided the forest, their instincts warning them of the unnatural silence that lay within.
One fateful night, a young woman named Ariana stumbled upon his hidden abode. Her heart was pure, and her spirit was as wild as the untamed land she called home. Tex, sensing her approach, was torn between the hunger that raged within him and the flicker of humanity that her presence ignited. As she stood before him, fearless and resolute, he saw in her eyes a reflection of the man he once was.
A bond formed between them, one that defied the laws of nature. Ariana taught Tex about the modern world, about the changes that had swept across the land like a relentless tide. In return, he shared with her the secrets of the ages, tales of magic and mystery that left her in awe. Together, they sought a way to lift the curse, to restore the Tex to his mortal form.
Their journey was fraught with danger, for the forces that had cursed Tex were ancient and powerful. They faced adversaries both human and supernatural, their resolve tested at every turn. But their connection was a beacon in the darkness, a reminder that even in the most cursed of beings, there is a spark of something good.
As the story of Tex of the Night and Arianal unfolded, it became a legend of its own, a tale of redemption, love, and the eternal struggle between darkness and light. It was a vampire story, yes, but it was also a story of hope, a testament to the enduring power of the human spirit, even in the face of the eternal night. Because of this, he only plays only CS gungame.
Edited by Angry on 20-07-2024 15:17
Tex Mex, the renowned American Counter-Strike player, was known for his sharp aim and even sharper tongue. He was a legend on the server, feared by opponents and revered by teammates. One day, after a particularly grueling tournament, Tex Mex decided he needed a break. Without much thought, he booked a last-minute vacation to a secluded beach in the Bahamas. The only people he told about his getaway were two Norwegians on the server, Sven and Olaf, who he had befriended over late-night gaming sessions.
As Tex Mex soaked up the sun and sipped on tropical drinks, things took a bizarre turn back home. His sudden disappearance from the server led to wild speculation among the gaming community. With no signs of him online and no updates on social media, rumors started to spread. Some players joked that he had been "fragged" in real life, while others concocted elaborate conspiracy theories. The most popular theory, however, was that Tex Mex had tragically passed away. A memorial thread popped up on the server's forum, with players sharing their favorite memories and in-game moments with the legendary player.
Meanwhile, Sven and Olaf were in stitches, watching the chaos unfold from their snowy Norwegian abode. They knew Tex Mex was alive and well, enjoying his vacation without a care in the world. But they couldn't resist the temptation to fan the flames a little. They posted cryptic messages like "Tex Mex is on a long journey" and "He's in a better place now," which only fueled the speculation further. It wasn't until Tex Mex returned, tanned and relaxed, that the truth came out. He logged back into the server to find a virtual shrine in his honor and a community relieved and embarrassed by their premature mourning. Laughing it off, Tex Mex promised never to leave without notice again—at least not without telling more than just two Norwegians.
Edited by Sir Egglicious Knifealot on 21-07-2024 12:01
My sources tell me Tex was on time off due to his mistress. I found his true story. The following is what I have gathered from numerous resources.
Tex was born in the wilderness, where the moon hung heavy in the ink-black sky, a tale of an ancient vampire unfolded. This creature, known as Tex of the Night, had roamed the earth for centuries, his existence woven into the fabric of countless legends and fears whispered around campfires. His story was one of darkness and light, of a relentless thirst battling an undying love for the human race he once belonged to.
Tex was not your ordinary vampire; he was a nobleman of the old world, turned into a creature of the night not by bite, but by a cursed artifact. His eyes, once a vibrant blue, were now the color of the midnight sky, and his presence was as commanding as the howling winds of the plains. He had seen empires rise and fall, had walked through wars and peacetime, all the while searching for a redemption that seemed as elusive as the morning mist.
His lair was hidden deep within the Big Thicket, an impenetrable forest where the trees whispered secrets of the ages. It was said that Tex had chosen this place for its ancient power, a land where the veil between worlds was thin, and where he could commune with the spirits of the land. The locals avoided the forest, their instincts warning them of the unnatural silence that lay within.
One fateful night, a young woman named Ariana stumbled upon his hidden abode. Her heart was pure, and her spirit was as wild as the untamed land she called home. Tex, sensing her approach, was torn between the hunger that raged within him and the flicker of humanity that her presence ignited. As she stood before him, fearless and resolute, he saw in her eyes a reflection of the man he once was.
A bond formed between them, one that defied the laws of nature. Ariana taught Tex about the modern world, about the changes that had swept across the land like a relentless tide. In return, he shared with her the secrets of the ages, tales of magic and mystery that left her in awe. Together, they sought a way to lift the curse, to restore the Tex to his mortal form.
Their journey was fraught with danger, for the forces that had cursed Tex were ancient and powerful. They faced adversaries both human and supernatural, their resolve tested at every turn. But their connection was a beacon in the darkness, a reminder that even in the most cursed of beings, there is a spark of something good.
As the story of Tex of the Night and Arianal unfolded, it became a legend of its own, a tale of redemption, love, and the eternal struggle between darkness and light. It was a vampire story, yes, but it was also a story of hope, a testament to the enduring power of the human spirit, even in the face of the eternal night. Because of this, he only plays only CS gungame.
Tex Mex, the renowned American Counter-Strike player, was known for his sharp aim and even sharper tongue. He was a legend on the server, feared by opponents and revered by teammates. One day, after a particularly grueling tournament, Tex Mex decided he needed a break. Without much thought, he booked a last-minute vacation to a secluded beach in the Bahamas. The only people he told about his getaway were two Norwegians on the server, Sven and Olaf, who he had befriended over late-night gaming sessions.
As Tex Mex soaked up the sun and sipped on tropical drinks, things took a bizarre turn back home. His sudden disappearance from the server led to wild speculation among the gaming community. With no signs of him online and no updates on social media, rumors started to spread. Some players joked that he had been "fragged" in real life, while others concocted elaborate conspiracy theories. The most popular theory, however, was that Tex Mex had tragically passed away. A memorial thread popped up on the server's forum, with players sharing their favorite memories and in-game moments with the legendary player.
Meanwhile, Sven and Olaf were in stitches, watching the chaos unfold from their snowy Norwegian abode. They knew Tex Mex was alive and well, enjoying his vacation without a care in the world. But they couldn't resist the temptation to fan the flames a little. They posted cryptic messages like "Tex Mex is on a long journey" and "He's in a better place now," which only fueled the speculation further. It wasn't until Tex Mex returned, tanned and relaxed, that the truth came out. He logged back into the server to find a virtual shrine in his honor and a community relieved and embarrassed by their premature mourning. Laughing it off, Tex Mex promised never to leave without notice again—at least not without telling more than just two Norwegians.
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